I miss Brannon.
Not “B”, not “CARL”. but the sweetheart who I once thought I knew so well. I will never allow detrimental events to transpire once more between us. I just wish he would have accepted my help instead of raging at me for the attempts. I did love him very much, and I still do, but things won’t ever be the same.
So I’ll speak of the events that have, once again, led to me being homeless, only this time I’m allowed home, but I don’t have a job now because of him, because families around here know everyone and get can things for almost no amount of anything, and they can manipulative the decisions of others, as well.
I only wanted to take 4-fluoromethamphetamine, MDPV, and 4-fluroamphetamine away from him because he had been taking SOME kind of stimulant everyday for the past three days, along with another research chemical, Phenazepam, which he definitely overdosed on after I held him and let him cry and express his feelings to me. Mania…I didn’t think you had such a selfish ego and ability to rage. Well, aside from stimulants, I don’t think you do, so I’ll re word this as drug induced rage, drug induced psychosis. You handed me two bags to throw away/flush down and get rid of it, you said if it would make me happy, I could. And I did. I remember walking into your room and you were staring at yourself in the mirror with a rag dress on, not staring, but admiring, almost…while I’m upset in the opposite room.
You never cared for me, and if you did it was when you were sober. I still had the ability, HIGH OR NOT or WHATEVER drug, to love you, nourish our relationship, and give you the affection you need. You left me alone upset for hours. So we began writing. and I’ll scan the writings for the world to see. I am not a liar. I just wanted to help someone I love for and care for so much, someone who was spiraling out of control, you broke my heart and instead of talking things through like adults, so we could at least be friends, because I don’t like dropping out of people’s lives once I’ve been very personal with them. It’s a shame how childish you are acting toward me online.
After you pushed me around and tried to destroy my belongings, and now you’re threatening to throw away a lot of my clothes that we hung up together when we were happy, when we were going to have an art/music/room. Now I’m crying for the mistake of meeting you. You don’t even sincerely apologize to me for what you’ve done. You’re so far gone.
(Source: transmigrationofhopheads)
